Hello good day!
I promised myself that i would blog since the start of this week.

Let's start this post with a "book review".

Since yesterday, I've been reading this book,

"The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm

Ok, so who is Erich Fromm and WHY AM I READING THIS BOOK, I bet my readers will ask.
Hold on, hold on... Let's go step by step. Let me talk abt who Erich Fromm is first.

Let me just give a summary of who he is.
Erich Fromm was born in year 1900, passed away in 1980. SO basically he's a guy interested in Pychological theory and wrote many books on different issues.
In this case, i'm more interested in the book he wrote on love.

Ok, Why in world am i reading this book. Well, my dad introduced the book to me. He really loved the book a lot, and he thought i would be quite interested to read some this type of books.
Actually he passed me the book about a month ago, but then i didn't have much time to really read it. So i thought to myself yesterday, why not i open up the book and see what magic is inside.
True enough, there are many meaningful things which i've learnt from the book, and I thought i share it with everyone.

This book mainly talks about love as the title suggests, and the author discuss why we should love, how loving is an art, and the different types of love around.
I'll just jump in to what is love.

Let me quote from the book.

"what does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious he has, he gives of his life. This does not necessarily mean that he sacrifices his life for the the other - but that he gives him of that which is alive in him; he gives him of his joy, of his interest, of his understanding, of his knowledge, of his humour, of his sadness - of all expressions and manifestations of that which is alive in him. In thus giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhances the other's sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness."

This is my interpretation. To love someone is to give him/her your everything, it is to share your emotions, your expressions with the other.

"He does not give in order to receive; giving is in itself exquisite joy. But in giving he cannot help bringing something to life in the other person, and this which is brought to life reflect back to him; in truly giving, he cannot help receiving that which is given back to him. Giving implies to make the other person a giver also and they both share in the joy of what they brought to life. On the act of giving something is born, and both persons involved are grateful for the life that is born for both of them."

To me, this means that love, is like the creation of life between the two, or should i say the union between 2 people, where joy, happiness, sadness are all shared. Love is about the 2 people giving to each other, and sharing their thoughts and feelings. It is the opening up of oneself. It's like a personal thing between two people, and the happiness that there is this life created between the two. And of course this is to any jokers out there, love is not the creation of life by sexual means, although i sound like i'm saying that. The life refers to the sharing of emotions, giving part.

Ok, this part not so important. I think this part is even more meaningful.

"Beyond the element of giving the active character of love becomes evident in the fact that it always implies certain basic elements. Theses are care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.

I think this is self-explanatory.

"Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love. Where this activing concern is lacking, there is no love."

It is concern that keeps us loving someone, or should i say giving.

"Care and concern imply another aspect of ove; that of responsibility. Tofay, responsibility is often meant to denote duty, something imposed upon one from the outside, But responsibility, in its true sense, is entirely voluntary act; it is my response to the needs, expressed or unexpressed, of another human being. To be 'responsible' means to be able and ready to 'respond'. The loving person responds."

To love someone is to be responsible for them, for their every need. Not because you need to, but because you want to.

"Respect means the concern that the other person should grow and unfold as he is. Respect, thus, implies absence of exploitation. I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his own sake, and in his own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me. If I love the other person, I feel one with him or her, but with him as he is, not as I need him to be as an object for my use"

In other words, this means that although both parties may be constantly giving each other - loving each other, it is always important to note that, everyone is different, and we must respect others for who they are. We have no right to impose our views or perspectives on them. We love someone not because they have something for us, or because we can benefit from it - we must give basic respect to others,even our love ones although we are at the same time must be "one" with them.

"To respect a person is not possible without knowing him, care and responsibility would be blind if they are not guided by knowledge. Knowledge would be empty if it were not motivated by concern. There are many layers of knowledge; the knowledge which is an aspect of love is one which does not stay at the periphery but penetrates to the core. It is possible only when I can transcend the concern for myself and see the other person in his own terms."

In order to effectively love someone, we must know a person inside out, and read them like a book. If they seem angry on the outside, we should not just take it as that. If you truly love a person, you will know exactly why they are angry, maybe it's because they are sad, or anxious; where anger is just a manifestation of another emotion.

So let me summarise the quotes and my views or should i say interpretation(cause these are the views of Erich Fromm)

Love is a 2 way thing and is about giving.
And in order to love effectively, we must care, we must feel responsible for our love one, we must respect them for who they are and finally, we must know them.
Care is like the motivation for us to keep loving someone. Responsibility is the reason why we love someone and give. Respect is what prevents the differences between 2 people cause friction and affect the "life" that is created between the two. And finally, knowledge is what is needed in order to create that life.

Hope everyone will spend some time thinking about this.
Ultimately, at the end of the day, these are just some of my thoughts on some things written by Erich Fromm.

I wish everyone a great day ahead!
Will post about other topics soon.